Hasta la Beasta!

 Another fire exstinguished.

Seems the honeymoon is over for the caveman Russell Brand and Katy Perry. What happens when you stick two boneheads in a room? A headlock! Or a headache. Either way, it wasn’t meant to be.

After a short-lived marriage, Katy Perry and Russell Brand have called a quits- irreconcilable differences. Go figure. He wanted to stay home and watch MTV’s Teen Mom and some Lifetime while she wanted to go sweat it out at the clubs. Guess Brand can’t hang with the big boys.

No one has heard too much about Brand and his current situation but it appears that no matter how failed his comic career, a brother can still land on top. He stands to make about $20 million thanks to his and Katy’s unresolved arguements.

Katy Perry had been spotted shmoozing up with her furry obsession, Bob.

Apparently this cute ball of fur and right hooks swept her right off her feet. They met while Perry was on her worldwide tour and haven’t left each other’s side. “It’s as if I’ve waited a lifetime to find happiness only to so be slapped silly with it by this little guy…” she stated when questioned in a recent interview. “His teeth are a little sharp and his hair does get up my nose sometimes. But I love him. He’s agreed to shave as long as I stop singing bad music and (I may or may not have made that up) use mouthwash after I smoke.” Seem’s they are off to a good start already! Compromise.

The two have plans for a lovely retreat in the Bush with some of their mates from the zoo.

We asked Bob, the kangaroo, about his stance on the matter. He just blinked. I thought I heard him say, “thanks” but I could be wrong.

Well, our best wishes along with some flea dip and a helmet. We’re sure you’re babies will be hairy so hit us up later for laser hair removal!

– Olive “Livvy” Nelle Weekly Column – On Air Personality